FAQs about Kangaroos

Q: Do you have Kangaroos in Australia?
A: Yes.

One of the girls at work asked about kangaroos during a break at work. Let's call her Kayla. Jordan and I tell Kayla that not only do we keep kangaroos as pets in Australia, but we ride in their pouches. Standard Australian bluff because our day hasn't been exciting enough. The entire break room of about 25 people falls dead silent, eager for her reaction. A look of amazement briefly crosses her face, then she frowns. "Are you lying to me?"

And this is when Jordan does his best work. "No!" he exclaims in an offended tone. "Just like you grow up riding horses, we grow up riding kangaroos. It's just what you do. You should look it up on Google images."

I give him a bewildered look. What is he doing?

Kayla scrambles for her phone and starts typing and staring with deep concentration. After what seems like the longest silence (because everyone in the break room is still watching) she exclaims, "OH MY GOD! There is a person riding in the pouch of a kangaroo."

My eyes widen in shock, but Jordan keeps his cool and whispers something along the lines of , "I knew there would be... Photoshop..." to me as Kayla shows everyone in the break room the image on her phone. Even I insist on seeing it. Sure enough, there is a kangaroo and grown man is in its pouch. 

"Do you eat kangaroos?" she asks excitedly.

Jordan pipes up again, "Oh yeah, kangaroo meat. There are soo many kangaroos in Australia, it's becoming a big problem. The government pays us three shillings a skull to shoot them off so that we can use the meat in cheese burgers."

First of all, what is a shilling? I don't think they have used shillings since I've been alive... or even since my parents have been alive. Secondly, okay everything that came out of Jordan's mouth in that exchange is just wack! But I nod in agreement.

Kayla: "You put kangaroo meat in cheese burgers?"

Jordan: "Well we don't have cows because it's just too long of a voyage to import them from places like America so we don't have beef."

Kayla: "Ohhhh wow. Australia is so cool. I love Australians. Can we hang out more?"

Everyone else in the break room is stifling laughter and I'm just looking at Jordan wondering how he even comes up with this stuff. There are basically only two people in the entire room who believe him, but that's all you need for the other 25 people in the break room to be entertained. Some people need to get back to work but they don't want to leave, because this is hilarious.

When Jordan and I finish our break, we leave the room and go out to our shifts. When we come back to the break room, Kayla says slowly, "Both my mum and my boyfriend said that people don't ride in kangaroos." She had called her mum and her boyfriend in excitement and told them everything Jordan had said. Bless her soul!

Jordan, this is my favourite memory of you. Life is funnier when you are around.